Work is funny. Not fun, but odd and weird and strange. This epiphany came to me just minutes ago after I got off of a phone conversation with an urban planner at an engineering company. But first let me place this in context. I stopped working a meaningful number of hours a week nearly six years ago when I turned sixty and retired. I did still keep earning money doing light consulting but it only took about eight hours a week of my time. I think eight hours a week qualifies as being fully retired in spite of being highly overpaid for it. I quit most of that consulting last year, and maybe work an hour a month now. I only do that for friends when they need an inexpensive expert witness or lobbyist. My rates make me the Costco of the consulting business.
The reason I quit my original retired consulting gigs last year was because I did not enjoy the deadlines and rigid schedules it placed on me. Eight hours isn’t much time in a work week but it wasn’t evenly or regularly distributed. One week I might work forty-five hours and then not work at all for the next six weeks. And I had no control over when I worked and when I didn’t since that was set by hearing dates and docket schedules. It was kind of a grind having arbitrary deadlines pop up and mess with the time freedom I wanted in retirement. It was fun at times, and it kept me relevant with business and industry leaders and government officials. But it just wasn’t fun enough to make up for the constraints it placed on my life.
I thought I had finally escaped most of that by no longer working any paid jobs. But not so. I still have lots of arbitrary deadlines and meeting dates I cannot escape that come with my volunteer work. Chairing a college board and a charitable foundation board, both with multimillion dollar budgets places the obligation on me to attend every committee meeting either board schedules as well as leading the board meetings for both groups. I still have to do annual performance reviews and salary recommendations for the president/CEO of each organization. I have to get continuing education credits and have to attend multiple commencements and grants award luncheons each year. I even have to get finger printed and sign affidavits and financial disclosures as part of the deal. I need to attend some of the college basketball, baseball and softball games as well as college foundation fund raising events. And in a similar fashion I have church commitments and student mentoring commitments with my former university engineering department. Finally, my billionaire friend has me running a local team to recruit some industrial jobs to our area.
That last one, the industry recruitment gig, that’s the one that led to my epiphany, the “work is funny” one. Because that project ground to a halt during the holidays. It is mostly a matter of outreach to economic development experts and you cannot reach out to anybody reliably during the three weeks that encompass the Christmas and New Year holidays. That part was good, I had a complete break from just about everything, and I enjoyed it. But part of me was dreading going back to my volunteer responsibilies, just like working people often spend Sunday evenings dreading Monday morning. And today was the day I decided to get back on the industry recruitment horse. Truthfully it was kind of painful to have to do that. Yet as soon as I had made my last call of the day and was back to “my time” that feeling went away and I got a little dopamine rush from having made some progress I could report back to my team next week. And that’s the odd, weird and strange thing about all my volunteer work now. I kind of dread it a little, just like I always have some misgivings before getting behind a podium to give a speech. But when it is over, I always feel great about having done it. I like the things that accompany the completion of these tasks, but at the time I’m not particularly thrilled about having to do them.
My nine to five was different. I enjoyed both the details of the work, the tasks involved and the thrill of completing them successfully. It is why I kept at it so long. But it did stop being fun at the end and what I do now is much better. However, I have come to believe I need the deadlines and the small amount of anxiety that my volunteer commitments create to make the leisure time and the hobby time more meaningful. I don’t really understand why that is the case, but I think my life would be less than it is without those commitments. It would be nice if they were as exciting and as much fun as work was back in the day, but I’m not sure that is possible. I’m fine with how things are now, but still, it is a little weird that some of the things I do to increase my overall joy are not that much fun in themselves.
What about you, if you are retired do you feel that you need some deadlines and required tasks that resemble work to add to your overall happiness, even if those very things create some stress?
If you are nearing retirement, early or conventional, have you decided how you will spend your time each day?
Some people see retirement as endless golf or fishing or pickleball. I do all of those (except substitute tennis for golf) but without the volunteer duties or some kind of part time work I do not think I would be happy. Do you think you will need something similar in your life or is endless leisure a sustainable lifestyle?
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Hey Steve — Yes, I’m coming to the same realization: That a happy balanced life must include some amount of “doing things that you don’t want to do”. It makes the juice sweeter when you have to squeeze for it.
Well I’m in good company if you see it that way too Joel! Life continues to be a balancing act after retirement just like working full time. And finding what is best for you is a continuing experiment for as long as we live I think.
“However, I have come to believe I need the deadlines and the small amount of anxiety that my volunteer commitments create to make the leisure time and the hobby time more meaningful.”
I LOVE this! 6 years into retirement and you’re still “experimenting” with getting the ingredients right. Isn’t that what retirement is all about? I hope we all have the realization that tweaking those variables is the true joy of retirement, and we continue to pursue the optimal mix as long as we’re able. It’s a great way to live life!
Thanks Fritz, it is a great way to live. I may never find that perfect optimal balance but the experimentation is a lot of fun now that finances are not a key consideration. You’ve certainly done a great job crafting a great life. I’m pretty happy with mine as well but it continues to be a work in progress.
That is a very interesting paradox. I have to consider that it might happen to me. As much as I highly dislike my 9-5, that if I spend my days without the stress, then life may start to become *boring*.
People may just have been built to have at least a little bit of stress in their lives to keep it exciting and meaningful.
David, I think we are made that way. Even if you are in your sweet spot there will be some stress associated with it. If I’m hooked up with a big fish, there is the fear its going to break my line. If I’m making a speech there is the fear I’ll mess it up. If it matters then the possibility of failure will always carry some anxiety. If it what you are doing can’t fail, then by nature it is boring and unfulfilling. At least that is my take.
That is true! Nothing ever worth doing comes easy and if we do feel fear, it means it’s important to us.
Well said, David.
Funny, I was just talking to my husband about this last night. It can be such a fine line between stressful/anxiety-filled days and boring/purposeless days. And yeah, it comes in waves so that sometimes it feels like life is one or the other rather than perfectly balanced. I think your solution of just accepting that fact might be the best we can do!
Mrs. FCB, thanks for commenting. Some of my most vivid memories and biggest wins were of extremely stress filled events when lives were on the line, literally. People need big challenges and some crises in their lives to grow and to build courage. But too much of that can kill you just like none of it can leave you in a malaise. I agree that even in a balanced life many days aren’t balanced, they will either be too anxious or too mundane, even if on average you’ve got balance.
I completely relate to your epiphany. I have watched from very close quarters at least ten people who retired without any financial worries or medical conditions. Instead of endless golf/fishing/pickleball (the stereotype of happy retirement in my part of the world is something different, though, but I digress), they all became miserable. They burdened people around them needlessly with their whinings.
There is one uncle, S, who is different. Due to some family situations, this person lives through a slightly stressful financial retirement. But he is a breath of fresh air. We (and his children) look forward to meeting and talking with him.
As one gentleman commented, the squeeze is necessary to enjoy the juice’s sweetness.
Agent Smith in Matrix says, “But I believe that as a species, human beings define their reality through misery and suffering. The perfect world was a dream that your primitive cerebrum kept trying to wake up from”. The scriptwriter may have made the dialogue a bit extreme, but I believe he is near to the truth of happiness.
Thanks baransam1, I love me some Matrix quotes. I just saw the latest Matrix (The Matrix Resurrections) and thought it was the second best of the series, with number one being by far the best. I think I took up running marathons just to provide the physical stress and pain that was missing from my office boy life. And I think it helped. But it was still just simulated stress, because I could stop at any time. And part of the stress of hard times is there is no easy way out. Its a paradox, its psychotic to seek out truly bad situations for your life but the best people are the ones who have persevered through incredibly tough situations.
“I kind of dread it a little, just like I always have some misgivings before getting behind a podium to give a speech. But when it is over, I always feel great about having done it. I like the things that accompany the completion of these tasks, but at the time I’m not particularly thrilled about having to do them.”
That passage says it all, we have to do hard things in life to keep a sense of meaning and purpose. For instance, the high temperature today where I live is going to be about 28 degrees. I dread doing my run today, but I’ve done so many thousands of runs I know that when I get back in the house after I am going to be elated that I did it. And I’m going to feel a lot better physically. The key to life is about balancing comfort, challenge, and discomfort, and we need all three.
Dave, that’s a lot of wisdom, as usual you say it better than I do. The coldest run I’ve ever made was in 5 deg F, which is extremely rare cold for South Arkansas. There was an inch of fresh snow on the track where we park, nobody else showed up from my group. We don’t usually run on the track, but I was scared of ice on the streets so I did run the track that day. It was eerie and silent, I couldn’t even hear my own footfalls. But it was maybe the best run I ever had. It felt like making fresh tracks on the top of Copper Mountain. That was a somewhat younger me, older me might just sleep in now.
Yes, I agree. As you know from my latest announcement, I have gone headlong into my new website. I don’t WANT to be working as much as I am, but I’ve decided to lean into it, because at the end of the day I do enjoy being productive. You get a dopamine rush from doing something well and taking pride in it. I think as others have said too if you do the hard things, you grow. Even in retirement, I want to continue learning and growing. But if something weighs you down too much for too long, retirement allows you the freedom to change it up. Alas, here is to change, balance, fear, and everything in between.
Great content! Keep up the good work!
Thanks Converse!
I have to answer your main question differently than most of the above folks. 20 months into my early(ish) retirement I don’t seem to miss or need that anxiety and slight unsettled-ness that deadlines and projects with due dates bring. Maybe I will in time, but the only goal I set for myself in 2021 was to read 50,000 pages .. and in fact I did that. I also said no to each and every consulting opportunity that came my way.. I might, in fact, be taking this doing nothing thing a little too seriously ! 😎😎 As always, a thoughtful post.. thanks..
That’s great Jack. We are all different, and maybe that would work for me too?
Cool! Thanks!
I think we all face this differently and with varying preparedness. I utterly failed full retirement in less than 3 months despit being financially fine. I now work 32 hours a week and am happy again. I will need to add more meaningful hobbies before I try quitting again, and am working on that.
Turns out I love my job when I don’t have to be a boss and can focus on only the parts I enjoy…
That’s interesting Doc, it’s great you’ve figured out a life you love. And thanks for your service.
In 2020, I did some part-time contract work shortly after retiring. The first assignment lasted 3 months and at the end of the second month I was ready to quit. The second assignment lasted 6 weeks and at the end of 4 weeks I was ready to be done with it. I enjoyed the work, but it was the additional deadlines and “fire-drills” that made me not want to work any more. In 2021, I didn’t do any contract work and was happy about that. I realized that I don’t mind the deadlines if I have control over them (as in I set them). But I am not willing to have others impose their deadlines on me (because many deadlines are unrealistic — no you don’t need that by the end of the day, the world won’t end, etc.). I have a whole list of projects and tasks to do at home and I do get that excitement by pushing myself to stay on schedule and complete those tasks. I wouldn’t say I am stressed about it though. Ultimately I like to push myself because there is the thrill of completing things.
Dragons, Good stuff on deadlines, I didn’t have many arbitrary ones in my consulting, I can imagine unrealistic or arbitrary deadlines would be frustrated. My biggest frustration is I have volunteer work all day Tuesday and can’t play tennis!
Hey Steve, definitely some things I’m thinking about a lot these days. Part of the reason I’m still working right now is that I don’t know exactly how I would fill my time, and I’m concerned about having a ‘fulfillment void’ if I’m no longer working. Most Sunday nights or Monday mornings I’m filled with anxiety and disdain for my work, yet I finish the end of the week with a strong sense of satisfaction and accomplishment that ‘makes it all worth it.’ If I could find a path to part-time consulting and volunteering, I’d probably pull the trigger. Maybe this is a good 2022 goal..
I feel you, that’s how I felt the last two years of my career. I still had some big wins but I no longer looked forward to Monday’s. The consulting route is not easy for everyone. I had spent decades building that as a possibility but it was just a plan B. My plan A of consulting for my own company didn’t pan out at first so I went with plan B and it was nice for the first five years of retirement. Most of the volunteer roles I have were ones I accepted long before I retired, but I have added some new ones too. I think you’ll resolve this. Many people do retire successfully with just the outline of a plan and this becomes their first retirement project. I think that would work fine for you, because you are intentional at life. Good luck!
Consulting is a pain. The pay os good but no control over your hours or work.
DP, I use the term consulting because I don’t know what to really call it. I was paid a flat retainer to do whatever it took to handle regulatory issues for a group of large companies in a niche area. It only took about 8 hours a week and it paid six figures so it wasn’t a grind at all. I wasn’t really getting paid by the hour and it did not control my time very much. I did some more conventional consulting, not much, but yeah, it was sometimes nights and weekends but it was just a few times and I kind of enjoyed it.
After 6 months of retirement in 2012, I got bored. After 1.5 years with no job I decided to explore the fintech startup space as a consultant. It was eye opening and fun!
But with kids now and FS, I’ve got more than enough to keep me busy! Too much actually!
Enjoy the green feeling of productivity!
Sam
Thanks, Sam. I’ve not gotten bored but I’m also an old guy and boredom thresholds change with time I think. I was consumed by rising up in the company back in the day but now I’ve turned down a seven figure offer just to avoid going back to that world. Kids, yes, we raised three. There are sleep and time deficits involved, or there were with us, but also great joy!