Webster defines serendipity as “Luck that takes the form of finding valuable or pleasant things that are not looked for.” I’ve had that on two occasions on morning runs when I found ten dollars laying on the sidewalk. When, a year or two after my dad’s death I decided to do a lost money search on our State Treasurer’s website and found $1,600 waiting to be claimed, that felt like serendipity too.
A few months ago I decided to stop most of my paid consulting. I hoped to fill that time with mentoring university engineering students and maybe with some other new volunteering opportunities. The only problem was I did not know of any existing mentoring programs like that. Then serendipity struck when my alma mater decided to create just such a program and I have had a great time mentoring my group of five chemical engineering students along with my two co-mentors. It was such a happy coincidence that the opportunity appeared right when I was ready for it.
Then earlier this week it happened again! I’ve mentioned having billionaire friends before, its just a thing that happens when you live in a small town that sits on top of an oil field. Some of those Jed Clampett poor people turned rich over night. And while some frittered away their money like a stereotypical lottery winner some of those families saved and invested that money. And a handful of those built the kind of corporate empires that beget billionaires. And because it is such a small town you rub shoulders with them at your kids’ soccer games and in the grocery store and, yes, even in Walmart. You take your morning runs with them. You workout with them at the gym, and you come to realize they are just people. Their circumstances are surely different but their lives are much the same as yours.
What was the second serendipitous event? Earlier this week my best billionaire friend called me up and asked if I’d meet with him at his office the next morning. He is retired also, but he has an office and a full time assistant because that’s how they roll. And his office is amazing. I think his coffee machine might have cost more than my car! We met and he made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. He wanted me to do whatever it takes to turn our little burg into a contender for a world scale manufacturing facility. He explained we have some unique resources that ought to make landing this specific type of business a lock, advantages that nobody else in the US has. But right now we aren’t ready because we haven’t done the prep work to even be considered. He has put together a team he wants me to lead to get this done and will put his office, his influence and even his personal jet at my disposal as needed.
And I realized that this is that additional volunteer job I was looking for. A chance to bring high paying green STEM jobs to our city. So, yes, serendipity again! It is truly volunteer work, no pay, and is it is completely outside my comfort zone, I’ve never done economic development work. I’m an engineer who ran a big oil and chemical complex, not someone who figured out where to site new plants. I also know almost nothing about this type of manufacturing. That means I’m going to have to bring my “A” game and learn some new skills. So for all those reasons I said “hell yes!” I said it but I definitely didn’t feel it. Because of the comfort zone thing, I felt afraid I’d fall on my face in front of everybody.
My wife shook her head like she always does when I agree to something that I don’t initially want to do. After forty-three years of marriage she still doesn’t quite get that part of me. She has zero trouble saying no unless its a “hell yes”, but my rule is only say no if there is a crystal clear reason. My whole career success came from not saying no to things I didn’t want to do. Sure I’ll tour first graders around the plant, of course I’ll speak at the Rotary Club, absolutely I’ll handle negotiating this fine with the EPA, OK I’ll take on lobbying in DC, yes I’ll handle negotiating contracts with our union employees. All the times I did not say no, times that landed me outside my comfort zone, stretched me and stacked more skills on top of my engineering talent. They made me grow. It was the difference between me and my competition. We were all exceptional engineers, but I also became a good public speaker, a tough negotiator, a big time networker, a decent writer and a servant leader.
Growth doesn’t stop with retirement, or it doesn’t have to. Taking on this project will let me work with new groups of people and I’ll learn a lot. That’s guaranteed because I know next to nothing right now about how to do this. It will showcase my skills to a whole new network of people. I don’t solicit paid work any more but I do seek volunteer opportunities and this will likely lead me to more of those. So, while I don’t feel a “hell yes” to take this on, I know its the right thing for me to do.
Is it valuable? Well, I get to do something that just might end up providing a lot of high paying green STEM jobs in this area. That’s got value, especially in a very low income state. And I’ll learn a lot, provided an old dog can learn new tricks. That’s valuable as well, to me personally. So based on that I would say this definitely qualifies as serendipity. Who knows where it could lead?
What about you? Are you a “Hell no” if it isn’t “Hell yes” kind of person? Or do you take on any challenge you don’t have a good reason to say no to?
Does it make a difference who asks you to do something? I find billionaires pretty hard to say no to. Is that super shallow of me or just smart networking? Honestly, I’m not sure.
As usual if you don’t see a comment box click on the title of the post up top!
Great post! There’s nothing better than embracing Serendipity in retirement, who knows where it may lead? Good luck on the Econ Dev gig, sounds like a blast.
Ironically, I wrote a post of the exact same title a few years back. Serendipity has always been my favorite word:
https://www.theretirementmanifesto.com/serendipity/
That was a great post of yours. I make it a practice to only steal from the best!
good luck with it all, steve. i would probably say “yes” if it all fit my very loose schedule. for me it does depend on who is asking. there are a handful who would get a “yes” even for something i didn’t want to do. those people have earned it with many years of loyal friendship. there are others where it would be “no” just on personality no matter the price.
Thanks, Freddy. I think you are ahead of me in this. I’m a people pleaser, I think you are better than that. But it is still worth doing in this case for me. You are more like my wife, a much better person than me!
Super excited to hear about the process and what you learn. My little hometown just attracted the first new major employer in decades, it will be critical for the town’s health.
Yes, Caroline, jobs really matter. And especially jobs that make products, tangible goods. I’m glad your town struck gold!
It’s too funny, because I almost wrote about this exact same thing yesterday. My serendipity was that I had one website deal fall through, only to find another out of a needle in a haystack that same week. I feel like serendipity is always around if you let it happen, but you have to let it happen and you do have to move out of your comfort zone.
I agree wholeheartedly that growth can and does happen in retirement. In fact, I’d say I’ve grown more in the last year and some change than I had in the previous five. So embrace it.
You know, I am all about “hell yeah!” or “no” – but for big decisions. For something like this, I will often say yes, until I see a hard reason to say no. And life often works out just the way it should. I believe Bezos calls this two way doors. As long as there is a way back through the door, it’s never a make or break decision.
Hey AR, any time I’m on a parallel path in thought with you I’m on top of my game. Fritz posted on this in the past too. I’m in very good company with you two! I struggle with the hell yes and no stuff because doing a big thing I was terrified of as a teen changed my life. It was a hell no but I said yes and life changed forever. Or did it? Maybe I just rewrote my story in my mind? I do think that “lucky” people create their own luck by being prepared and by seizing the moment. I suspect that had a lot to do with the second deal coming your way. But I bet you know people, as I do, who never get lucky. Its mind bending figuring out how much of our good fortune we earned and how much was fate, luck or providence.
I used to be a “Hell no if it isn’t Hell yes” (HNIIIHY) kind of person. I also thought that is honesty and rightfully followed that path. That was 23 years ago.
Somewhere in between, I realized that there is no particular honesty in being an HNIIIHY kind of a person. In some cases, it may be dishonesty with oneself when I masked my fear under the garb of intellectual righteousness.
I am still an HNIIIHY(mostly), but I am consciously trying to move away from it. It isn’t easy. There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.
There is a huge difference in knowing the path and walking it, that’s so true! It sounds like you are being very intentional and stepping out more. That sounds wise, of course there is risk, I’ve had some painful failures, but mostly not.
I am so good at volunteering (even when I don’t really feel like it) that I have to practice saying no to stuff. This, though, sounds like a lot of fun. Looking forward to hearing more about it.
Thanks Janet! Sounds like both of us are repeat offenders.
Congrats Steve, your serendipitous volunteer position sounds super exciting and I am looking forward to hearing about your experiences! My serendipitous retirement experiences have more to do with biking, gardening, and chickens. 🙂
Sue, I think those are as good or better! Anything that’s interesting and has value adds to our purpose.
Hi Steve, another fantastic post. Thank you for sharing (and writing)! I am several decades of work behind you, and your dedication to learning/working/developing amazes me. Would you mind sharing:
(1) During your career, you did very well financially. With a multi-millionaire NW, how did you grow the mindset to say yes to things you knew would take you out of your comfort zone (and likely come with increased stress)? I imagine at some point, growth in the stock market may have outpaced any increased compensation your day job may have provided (but please feel free to correct me if I’m wrong). Assuming that’s true, how did you become intrinsically motivated to step outside of your comfort zone? Any insights into your mindset/mentality to develop intrinsic motivation would be greatly appreciated.
(2) Kind of similar question, but now focused on retirement. “Growth doesn’t stop with retirement” — WOW. With your financial life set, how, how do you keep going? How do you develop the mindset of “my finances are set several times over, let me look for opportunities that pay nothing, and let me learn new skills”? Your mentality is far and few between, and something I hope to aspire to one day.
As an aside, if you’re ever in the Dallas area, please do a reader meetup!
Cheers.
I stepped out the first major time in high school when, as one of the most painfully shy guys, I agreed to do a lead role in a touring musical play. Everyone else in the production were the cool kids, I wasn’t. I do not know what gave me the courage, I guess I sensed that if I wanted more out of life I needed to suck it up and reach for it. Turns out I was a natural actor and from then on I looked for reasons to say yes to risky offers instead of no. I failed spectacularly at times but the thing is, I got back up and nobody even noticed, nobody laughed at me, I was a made man, not the coolest guy but cool enough. And I knew now that the coolest kids were just as full of insecurities and no more confident than me. I just carried that lesson into my career, and into retirement. Its how I live. We are deductive creatures. We learn from what works and what fails. If you step out of comfort generally you will see the results are assemetrical. The rewards are huge, the failures bring only slight bits of pain. Once you have done that a few times it makes sense to you to do it as a pattern. As far as 2), I’m normal for this forum, maybe even a slacker. The retired women and men and those soon to join us in retirement are world beaters. You just stay intentional in retirement and do things that serve you and weed out the stuff that doesn’t. Honestly there are a dozen, more than a dozen here that I am trying to emulate. I might be the oldest but I’m not the best by a long shot. But thanks for the nice words. I feel like you fit right in with this crowd.
They say that luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity, and I think the same can be said of serendipity. Hell yes to you on the new opportunity!
Thanks IF! I’m headed to meet with some economic development people a couple of hours each way this morning to scope this thing out!
That’s an awesome opportunity that sounds like a lot of fun! And it seems like it would be a lot less pressure personally since you’re retired.
Your question about whether I tend to say no or hell yes has really made me think! And I think for me it depends! I love getting out of my comfort zone, having adventures, doing new and scary things, and learning. But I also get protective about my time and priorities. I do know that your new adventure sounds awesome and that I’d have jumped on it too. Good luck and have fun!
Thanks Mrs. FCB. The biggest difference in us is I have a lot of discretionary time while you are very busy. So spending four hours on the road today and a couple of hours in meetings is no hardship on me but it would be a totally lost day to you. One of retirement’s best features is the time flexibility.
I love your story about finding an extra $1,600 to your name. Many people don’t understand that there are “unclaimed property search” websites and the state literally holds billions of dollars in unclaimed property…. What a shame! I remember finding $50 from that and was giddy.
And congratulations. I remember your story about a billionaire before in a physician on fire comment and you have the best stories. Opportunities come to you, you don’t go to the opportunities 😉
David it was fun, but I did have to let my brother have half of it so I only got $800. But even so my dad would have hated that money being lost! Thanks!
That’s pretty amazing. Sometimes, it feels like some people has all the luck. But you have to be open minded to be lucky. Saying yes to new challenges helped you grow and open a lot of doors. I think you also has to be smart and adaptable as well to take advantage of those opportunities. So it’s not all luck.
As for me, it really depends where I am in life. When I’m unhappy, I tend to say yes to new things. When things are going well, I usually stay in my comfort zone.
I am purely lucky I think. Part of that was learning to step out early in life, that might not have ever happened if I hadn’t had a gun literally put to my head as a teen by a drugged out robber who took down the drug store I was working at. That scared me into a growth in my personal spiritual faith and that faith led me to be confident enough to step out of my comfort zone so there was a little more to the story than I put in the post. Having a gun stuck in your face puts more minor things in perspective. It makes you realize that being embarrassed or laughed out is NOT the worst thing that can happen to you! Thanks, Joe.
Your post made me think—really, truly think—about whether I’m a hell-yes guy or a sure-why-not person. I like to think that I’m a hell-yes person, but the truth is that I’ve typically been more on the sure-why-not end of the spectrum. That’s alllowed me to learn new things, which likely has had a positive effect on my skillset and qualifications for opportunities. But it’s also meant a lot more stress because I take on tasks I’d actually rather not. I’m not sure if and whether I’ll change, but it’s a push-pull I plan to give a lot more consideration to.
I think a well lived life will have a good bit of stress. Maybe stress is the wrong word but if you are invested in others then you are going to hurt when they do, and if you are doing big things that matter to others you’ll feel the pressure to not let them down. If nothing you do matters to you or anyone else, then it may not be stressful but it may not be much fun either.
Interesting–a billionaire asking you to work on an economic development project. He must believe you have the skills to pull it off. Having spent a year working in Arkansas, I’ve seen firsthand that the job opportunities are definitely needed in certain parts of the state.
But, of course, the type of job you’re referencing will probably bring in people from out-of-state, and that might very well change the culture of the location. Just a point to consider.
Glad you’re doing well and staying busy in retirement! And I hope you enjoy your holiday season!
Thanks Froogal, we have a Fortune 500 Corp headquartered here so we already have Canadians and Brits and even French people in our rural burg. We’d love to bring in some more!
Fun stuff, Steve. Why don’t you guys build a semiconductor fab or two? We need them!
We do indeed, we are terribly reliant on foreign sources.