I’m not a touchy person, I am very OK with other people having other opinions than mine. In fact, about the only time I get sideways with those opinions is when they are uninformed guesses based on stereotypes. Where I see this the most in the personal finance, financial independence and retire early communities is when it comes to the assumptions younger adults make about “old” people.
Most of the people who show the most ignorance about aging are in their forties or younger. This is reasonable because someone like me, in my sixties, fully understands what it is like to be 24, because I’ve been there. But a 24 year old is abysmally ignorant of life at 65 because they have zero first hand experience of what 65 feels like. It is something they can only make assumptions about based on older relatives and coworkers and, of course, popular stereotypes. So they casually dispense common tropes about people who are in their fifties or older. And society at large feels like that is OK, even though to do that based on gender, sexual preference, race or religion would be clearly out of bounds.
This takes a lot of forms, but the most frequent goes something like this. “I don’t want to work until I’m X years old because I will be too old to enjoy my life, even if I have plenty of money invested.” And in many cases X is as young as 50 years old. They state as if it were a fact that they won’t be able to play sports, travel, surf, party, hike, climb, run, backpack, enjoy fine cuisine or handle mentally challenging tasks. Apparently they base that on the oldest and most decrepit people they’ve ever known.
Now certainly there will be a day for all of us who survive long enough, when physical and/or mental capability greatly restricts the activities we can participate in. I’m not arguing that there isn’t a date for each of us when it would be factual to label us as “old”. That might be based on what percent of the average life span we’ve attained or better based on the amount of physical decline we exhibit. But what does offend me is the blanket assumption that someone who has reached a certain age, be it 50 or 80, is no longer able to participate in the same activities they enjoyed in their younger days.
I’m 65 and my wife is 66. A couple of months ago she ran a marathon with a 40 year old friend. They finished side by side and they both won their age groups, in fact my wife won the over 50’s even though she was sixteen years past fifty. This last weekend, we both played on 40 and over tennis teams. Her team won the state tournament and mine didn’t, but we didn’t finish last either. We were competing against much younger opponents and we did this outside in the sun under 110 deg F heat index conditions. We both get up before 5AM three days a week to run four or five miles. We both play tennis four or five times a week and some pickle ball in addition to that. We hike, we bushwhack and we ride rugged off road trails in our side by side ATV. We fish and take care of home, lawn and vehicle maintenance. She builds furniture and outbuildings. I run some large nonprofits.
What’s my point? Not that we are special, its the opposite of that! My wife and I are quite typical of the friends we run with. In fact while our running group has people as young as 40 in it it also has several guys in their 70’s, including our fastest runner. My point is that I can’t think of a thing I could do in my twenties, thirties or forties that I can’t still do. Sure, I was faster then, but the amount of deterioration in my physical abilities is still relatively small, and nowhere near enough to prevent me from being competitive at the same sport I competed at in high school. In fact that high school version of me would get badly beaten on the tennis court by older me if that match were possible. Much more so for my spouse who has barely lost a step over time.
We play tennis every week with a couple of guys in their 80’s. We’ve got one other friend who is 90 who still has game. Yet I’ve got other friends who have gone sedentary as they’ve gotten older and who would have died if they had tried to exert themselves in the brutal heat of that weekend tennis tournament. And those are the people that get noticed and give the rest of us much fitter seniors a frail image. And someday I’ll be in that group as well, but not today. The thing younger adults don’t get is that when I returned three lightning fast, in my face, net volleys and then jumped high to crush the final overhead to win our third set tiebreaker yesterday it was just as big a thrill as any high school victory or any tournament win in my forties. Life is not in any way less fun than it was then. This is truly the best time of my life!
I guess I’m saying that if you fear you’ll only be able to afford to retire when you are an ancient 57 years old, put that fear away. Happiness does not deteriorate over time, it gets better. And if you keep moving and working out you’ll likely maintain a very fit body to much older than you think. I think becoming financially independent well before conventional retirement age is smart, because it gives you options. But assuming you’ll be unable to enjoy life when you retire as fully as you can now, that’s very pessimistic. And it is something you have a great deal of control over if you do the right things now. Invest in your financial future and your physical future with equal amounts of fervor and discipline. I certainly don’t regret any of the twenty-three thousand miles I have ran since starting in my thirties.
And please, consider giving the older crowd some slack, especially when you consider the older you. That future you might be a heck of a lot tougher and fitter than you think, and might even pass you in a marathon some day.
What about it? Am I just a cranky old “Get Off My Lawn!” geriatric or am I right about younger bloggers and commenters constantly throwing older people under the bus?
Surely you know some people in their 60’s and 70’s that are physical specimens? If you do give them some love in a comment.
Why do you think it is OK to use stereotypes for senior adults that would be totally unacceptable if used regarding race, gender, etc. ?
And as always, if you do not see a comment box then click on the title at the top of the post.
good one, steve. as someone who considers himself a young 53 my usual unsolicited advice to someone younger is that my tastes and patience have changed as i have gotten older. it’s not that it happens to everyone but especially with travel i have much less desire to “see the whole world” now compared to my younger days. i would say if you have the urge and the means to strike that iron while it is hot.
i’m with you on the near total acceptance of disparaging the older generation. show some respect and ……”get off my lawn.”
Thanks Freddy, for a young punk you’re OK! Good point about preferences changing even when capabilities may not have changed as much.
Hey Steve! First I’m gonna share my feelings, then I’m gonna play devils advocate for a second…
My feelings are nothing but respect for older generations… Not only do they inspire me, teach me, and encourage me, but I’m headed on a 1-way street towards getting older myself. Putting older people down is putting myself down, which is self-destructive. I believe life will keep getting better and better for me the older I get. Like you said, happiness doesn’t deteriorate, it gets better!
OK, now here’s something I’ve noticed that might be contributing to this “fear of getting old” problem…
I came home from surfing the other day, and was unloading my boards from the car. An “older” couple was walking past and commented “I wish I was young enough to still surf. Enjoy it while you are young, kid. You can’t do that when you reach my age”.
I looked at the couple and seriously, they were not that old! They definitely could be out surfing — heck, I see 60y/o’s in the water all the time surfing with me — but it seems their own mentality was holding them back. They don’t even want to drive to the beach and dip a toe in the ocean because they honestly believe their age is holding them back.
So, I know what you mean about you, your wife, and MANY other “older” people being rockstars. (My Dad is 60 and running a Marathon this year, he will never stop trying new things). But, there are also MANY people in the older generations who seem to have given up on life. Their message to the younger generation is a very bleak and sad one. It’s hard to ignore. I can see why youngen’s are scared of getting old – they hang around people that give up on themselves later in life so of course it doesn’t seem fun from the outside.
Thank you for sharing your stories, and leading by example. And congrats on marrying a rockstar. Your wife sounds awesome!!
Love, Joel
I agree here with Joel that this is clearly a mindset problem in many ways.
Society tells us that you can’t do as much when you get older. Enjoy your health, while you have it, etc.
Frankly, I am very happy to read a post like this that shows that you are only as old as you lead yourself to believe. This backs up what I have seen first hand with my grandparents. The ones who were more active lived longer, were happier, and were able to do much more. Even now, my 90+ year old grandma now uses an iPad and posts on Facebook.
Meanwhile you have the other half of folks over say 60+ who “can’t” do what they used to do, don’t have good habits, and deteriorate much faster. My in-laws for example can barely walk down the block and I’ve had to stop playing a round of golf with my father-in-law several times due to exhaustion.
I am now 37, and watching any professional sport now instantly reminds me that I am getting older. In fact I am older than most professional athletes…yet I feel that I am in some of the best physical and mental shape of my life. I feel that I am just getting started.
Thanks for inspiring me to continue to live a healthy life. Health is really true wealth, and no matter what mindset others have, I certainly want to always feel young physically and mentally.
Joel and you are both wise beyond your years. It is crazy that 37 would make you an old pro tennis player or NFL quarterback. But those are very elite positions in very elite leagues. In recreational sports you can still be competitive far longer and when the sports have age categories you can play as long, well, as you can still play! I don’t have any doubts you’ll be a strong athlete when your age doubles and then some. Because it is precisely what you do in your thirties and forties that determines what you can do in your sixties and seventies. That hard work you are doing now will pay off big time!
Thanks Joel, I think I was missing the fact that there are many, if not most, older people who aren’t engaged in active lifestyles by choice. And the fact is that if you don’t use your body in active ways you do slowly lose the will and the ability to do it. When you hang with a tribe of active seniors you do start to think everyone is living like that in their sixties and seventies and beyond but it is a much smaller group than I thought, it appears.
Boy, you’re grumpy OLD curmudgeon today, aren’t you! Wink. Thanks for standing up for us “old folks”, I’d be happy to take any of them on in my Spin class. Man, that class is TOUGH. Fortunately, so am I. If you haven’t, you should read “Younger Next Year”, exactly along the premise of your post. Motivating book for those who haven’t realized the importance of fitness as we age.
Fritz, you are just like my other friends in that you can still hit life hard. But what I’m getting from smart young guys like Joel is that we aren’t typical and that the majority of guys my age aren’t still in the fight. They are choosing a sedentary life, and I think that is sad. It does make me grumpy!
I’m a big proponent of “you’re only as old as you feel.” So if you’re 80 and you feel like 30, then you’re likely crushing it physically and mentally. And if you’re 30 and you feel like 80 . . . well, maybe it’s long past time to do something about that, assuming you’re able to.
I’m like you in that while I may have slowed down some from my younger self, it surely and thankfully doesn’t feel like it. I also like leveraging the wisdom that comes with age so that the mind and body can do the same or more as when younger, and expend equal or less energy doing so.
Great point fifor, the reason I could kill my teenage self on the tennis courts isn’t that I’m as fast as he was, its that I’m smarter and more consistent. And that does compensate for less speed and strength in many activities.
I, for one, encourage the “get off my lawn” approach to life. You’ve earned it. As others have said, it really is a mindset. Staying active is the key, physically and mentally. I think most people simply can’t imagine themselves getting to be what they consider old in numerical terms. It’s hard to comprehend what that looks like when you’re in your 20s and 30s and even 40s, and much easier to make blanket statements about being “old.” Loved the post.
Thanks IF, I wasn’t sure how it would be received but I’m very happy with the comments. I remember when I was a preteen thinking that I would live long enough to see the year 2000, but that sadly I’d be too old to enjoy it! And that was 21 years ago now. It is hilarious actually how different time looks from my current end of the spectrum compared to how I saw it as a kid.
Great post! At 61, last week we won our mixed doubles USTA match in brutal heat (Texas at noon) after 2 hours and 45 minutes. 12 – 10 in the 3rd set tiebreaker. While I’m not sure I would have beaten my 18 year old self, I am definitely smarter and patient. I too play tennis 4-5 times per week and golf once or twice and get on the Peloton every week.
We have friends in Colorado that ski 100 days a year. That would be insane in a good way.
We have friends that are in poor shape, but you can see people in any age cohort that could do a better job.
Another plug for Chris Crowley who wrote Younger Next Year. Inspiring tale.
You go Casey! That’s a long match! We won our men’s doubles match Sunday in a third set tiebreaker 10-6, but it didn’t run nearly as long as yours. My wife’s doubles team won the state and goes to Louisville KY for the sectionals, our team didn’t win, but at least we avoided last place. You sound just like the people we hang with, lets keep doing life as long as we can!
> I’m 65 and my wife is 66. A couple of months ago she ran a marathon with a 40 year old friend. They finished side by side and they both won their age groups, in fact my wife won the over 50’s even though she was sixteen years past fifty.
> What’s my point? Not that we are special, its the opposite of that!
In fact you are very special that your wife could beat people that are 16 years younger than her.
My parents are 66 and 67 years old and they struggle going up or down the stairs because of their knees.
True, and I didn’t mean to ignore the fact that physical disabilities take many people out of the game. My tennis partner at the state tournament has an artificial knee and just came back from eight months off with rotator cuff surgery on his shoulder. But my thinking is most people aren’t disabled at 60, they could still be quite active. However there are many people whose bodies fail them for genetic or injury reasons that just can’t do impact sports. I wouldn’t want to imply that people who lack mobility are at fault, any more than people who get cancer brought it on themselves. There are a host of bad things that happen to good people that we can’t explain. I’m very sorry your parents struggle with mobility issues. I’m sorry if I came across as insensitive, it is always a risk when I try to make one point that I overlook other points of view.
I think your judgement of old people is using rose colored glasses. Your circle of friends is probably upper middle class, and worked very light physical activity careers. After a hard day of work, they were still able to run/walk a few miles for exercise. They were able to grab a nice two week vacation each year. The hardest on the job workout was the noon tee time with “clients”, followed up with the “happy hour” at the clubhouse, and finally back to the grind..working late dear….with all those heavy TPS reports to read. You could have pulled a hammy on the course, and the paper cuts from those reports are almost unbearable. I think most 60 year olds are a bit “longer in the tooth” than you describe. Now, after busting your chops a bit. I see the “I don’t want to wait until I am old to enjoy….” as the result of a I want it now society. The excuse is they don’t believe they will enjoy it…when in fact, they just don’t want to wait. I don’t believe I know anyone over 60 that could run a marathon, so some of that stereotype in my area, circle of friends, is probably more to being true. Most of the people I know have worked a physically demanding job, and the years of work have played a large part of their declining health. I think the stereotype are accepted, as most older people are comfortable with themselves, they really don’t care what others think. Younger folks typically fight more, as they are thinned skinned, as experience hasn’t made it to them yet.
My job wasn’t quite that cushy, at least in the earlier years when I was on the fire crew on the front of a hose team and dragged people out of poisonous gas clouds to perform CPR on them. A lot of engineering work in chemical and oil facilities is on and around blazing hot equipment and has risks that are quite a bit larger than paper cuts. But that said, of course many of my friends are upper middle class, in fact many of them are 8 and 9 digit mega rich people. But I also worked with a lot of blue collar hourly type guys and they ran the same 5K’s and marathons I did even though I made more money and they did more physical stuff on the job. I’m not sure that a job that requires you to walk around and climb ladders and stairs like our skilled craftsmen jobs isn’t really better for your health than sitting and staring into multiple computer screens like I did most of the time. The idea of manual jobs wearing your body out doesn’t make sense to me when your average physical trainer basically makes you wear yourself down in the gym. But your main point is I’m just seeing this from my narrow perspective, and the bulk of the comments, including yours, has convinced me you are right about that. I do agree that my limited circle of friends has caused me to assume they are representative of all people my age, and you are right, they aren’t. Thanks for commenting.
I am not yet 50 and I will never go to Macchu Pichu like I planned because my lungs broke 5 years ago. Do not cavalierly assume that your body – or you for that matter – will still be able to do everything you want as time goes on, or even still be here.
I’m sorry, I too have a breathing issue that really has impacted my running speeds. Fortunately it hasn’t hurt my tennis and I’m investigating some radical surgery to maybe make it better. However I have noticed that the one area that my reduced lung capacity hasn’t hurt is high altitude hiking. I can still do 14r’s and hike the high desert. And my knees can’t do marathons anymore, in fact I limit my runs to four miles usually. Nothing cavalier about my assumptions. Every day I can get up and run is a gift from God and some day those will run out. I tried to acknowledge that disabling conditions prevent some from strenuous activities but my point was that many people just quit trying even though they don’t suffer from a disabling condition.
Thanks for sharing and reminding folks that age is just a number. Your lifestyle is definitely a “goal” for retired life, and no doubt your commitment to health and fitness, as well as strong mindset has helped you get there.
I’m 39, so probably in the middle of the range. I roll my eyes at many of the 20-somethings saying they can’t work anymore (after only 5 years?!), but my view for 20 or 30 years down the road for myself was very bleak if I had continued down the path I was going. Health and other issues already as a result of working 60-80 hours a week and putting my career before everything else.
Pursuing FIRE and early retirement was an attempt to increase the probability that I’ll actually be able to enjoy a lifestyle like you (though I 100% won’t be able to run a marathon). Not because I don’t think I’ll be able to, but because life is unpredictable and if you don’t like what yours looks like, you should aim to change it. My parents retired in their 50’s to an active adult community and have a better social life than me (or they had when i was growing up).
I don’t recommend running 15 marathons like I did or 100 like a friend of mine did because its just too much for some people’s knees. I’d love to have some of that cartilage back. The thing is you have a plan, and you are living it. To me that’s what separates people who are happy with their lives from those who live in regret. And it doesn’t have to be the same as mine or anyone else’s. It sounds like your parents had a good one for them and you are following a good example.
Hey Steveark. Loved this. If only there were more of these kind of stories being shared.
I’m firmly with Joel when most of the “old” people around me are not great role models for what to expect. They tend to be unfit and even worse, to my mind, have given up on the idea of either trying to improve – or to try anything new at all!
It’s that kind of group which does seem the norm, my way at least. But if I think about hard – it’s actually not that different in other age groups.The larger proportion seems more risk-averse ( how small is the FIRE world?!) and less inclined to put the work in to take care of their physical and mental health.
I know there’s a lot of demands on your time but what you prioritise is what you get.
Interestingly, I see it much less in some of the less well off places I travel to. Whether by choice or necessity is a different question.
Nice piece – cheers!
I think the higher net worth crowd is generally more health aware. There are lots of studies that show as income/wealth increases so does the planning time horizon. If you are worried about your next meal you only plan for today. If you have no money issues you plan decades ahead. So that matches your experience if I’m reading your comment the way you meant it. I was never risk averse, but only because of some formative experiences in my youth where stepping out of my comfort zone paid off hugely. That made me believe that its always a good idea to take risks, just not the kind that can end you.
Love the article! I just turned 56 last week, and I’ve been retired now for almost five years. I was a pretty good athlete in my teenage years. I even played a little college football my freshman year, and still remember thinking thirty was old! During my MegaCorp years, I lost my desire to work out to the excruciating grind of the job, and as a result of twenty years of working and not working out, I was no longer the healthiest 50 year old at the conference room table. As I approached my FIRE mark, I decided to start working out again, and exercise has become my go to hobby in retirement. (I even outfitted a full gym in our basement.) Now…five years later (and thirty pounds lighter!), I could definitely kick my teenage @ss again! 😜 I run and lift weights three days a week. My bench press is now 25 lbs better than my personal best in my early twenties. I’m certainly a slower runner now (for sure!), but I’m fairly certain that I could out distance my 20 YO self on any given day!
It’s nearly all mental…for years I ignored exercise, but 56 is the new 26! Here’s to us old codgers! Let’s show these dang whippersnappers a thing or two! 😉😆
You are the poster child for what I was saying. I’m not special, you are special. And there are a lot of you’s out there that are beasts! I’m fitter than average but I’ve never been anyone who could be college level at anything other than engineering. Guys and gals like you that not only have the heart and the will, like I do, but also have superior physical equipment, those are the real deals. In my tennis tournament this weekend that didn’t go so well for me, the one team we did beat, my opponents included a guy who played professional basketball for 15 years in Germany. He wasn’t tall, but he was so fast and coordinated. I’m not a natural athlete, so if I can be active at 65 then guys like you who have better engines, no telling how many miles you can rack up before you ever deserve to be called “old”. You are inspirational, Thom. Way to go!
You are way too kind with your words. I’m honestly just happy to have found exercise again. FIRE has been a Godsend in so many ways.
Here’s to all of us old guys keeping up the exercise! Cheers!
I’m happy with you, old guys rule!
This is an interesting post – with some interesting responses.
From my own experience and that of my friends (I’m 64), it starts to be a much more mixed picture in terms of physical health and ability as we age. So, for example, although I still love to hike I don’t enjoy the day-long tough hikes I did when I was in my 40s. I’d rather do far fewer hours, and enjoy it more. I’ve always loved to dance, but some inner ear stuff means that I can’t do the type of ballet class I did when I was a decade or so younger, requiring fast turns and jumps. Doesn’t stop me dancing, though.
So I think it’s fair to say that, while age needn’t stop us doing the same sorts of things we enjoyed when we were younger, it’s likely that most of us will need to make some accommodations. And, as many have already mentioned, some of this can be as much to do with mental attitude as with physical ability.
There’s also a corollary to this. When young FI planners ruthlessly assume that they’ll be unable to do much of interest after age 50, they also blithely conclude that they won’t need very much money once they’re ‘old’. So it’s common for them to plan for reducing income after, say, age 60.
I want to shake them! They’ll probably still want to travel, but may not want to stay in dodgy budget accommodation or get the cheapest journey involving multiple changes of flight and an overnight wait at the airport. Their curiosity about life will probably be unabated, but experience may have honed their tastes and their ability to appreciate quality so that they’ll want to spend more on some things (better wine, say, and better seats at the opera).
As we get older, we may also need or want to spend more on things like help in the house and garden or body maintenance stuff like expensive dental work or preventative physiotherapy. All this costs money! So I’d really like to see younger FI warriors taking more account of that.
Jane in London
Jane, that’s such an intelligent analysis. I know in my younger days I thought a $3 bottle was decent wine and now, well, I’m paying considerably more for vino. And my point was mainly life is still good at 50 or 60 or beyond, in fact these are my best days so far. I couldn’t agree more that I don’t go quite as hard as I did but that I also go in more expensive style. I’m not staying in dodgy cabins, I’m in plush rentals. My cars are nicer. My vacations aren’t just $300 trout fishing jaunts to North Arkansas they are $22,000 hiking adventures in Switzerland and Italy. You said it far better than I!
You were an athlete at a younger age and a really good runner. You read my blog and know my focus on health and fitness, so you know I was the opposite – I went from obese to being a good athlete in my late 40’s.
But let me play devils advocate here – the obesity rate in America is now 43% and will likely rise to 44% by the end of this year, it’s climbing that fast. The toll it’s taking on millions of people is staggering. “Should” folks in their 60’s and 70’s be able to do all of things you mention – absolutely! But WILL the average American be able to do them? On the path we’re going down I have my doubts. So much of the general perception and stereotypes you blog about are coming from people who have moms and dads or aunts and uncles in their 50’s who need knee replacements, because they’ve been obese all of their lives.
Just trying to bring some actual numbers and reality to the discussion, as depressing as they are… But good post and keep getting at!
Great point Dave, I was doing athletic things, but I’m really not gifted at them. I’m slow, never had any vertical leaping ability and am not very good with drilling in any lasting muscle memory. But I’m fiercely competitive and that offsets a lot in recreational sports. Obesity is a real curse and my state of Arkansas consistently ranks 50th or 49th when it comes to being the worst. You’ve convinced me I’m living in a bubble. After reading the comments I started looking around at the groups I’m volunteering with that aren’t focused around running, tennis, etc. and those people aren’t at all like my active friends. A few are pretty fit but most are not at all. I just wasn’t aware until I wrote that post and found that nobody’s experience backed up mine. Whenever that happens I know who is wrong, and its not you!
The vast majority of us live in bubbles, so yeah. You’ve heard the saying “you are the average of the 5 folks you hang out with most”. I think there’s lots of validity to that. So I see you hanging out most of the time with other active and healthy folks in their later years. Me, I now hang out with mostly super-fit cyclists, runners, and rock climbers. I don’t really have much in common with couch potatoes, as I’m sure you don’t either. In these cases I think being in our bubbles is good for our health and keeps bad influences away, but it’s important to know about the other bubbles too. And heck, I really want to help those in other bubbles, to get them in mine 🙂
Dave, great points. When I first started getting comments that I was not really seeing my age group in its entirety I stepped back mentally and tried to look at the groups I was in that weren’t based on fitness. Groups like my small group at church and my alumni group at my engineering college and the boards I serve on. When I look at those groups there aren’t as many people my age that are as active as I am. There is an exception I notice though. The financially independent people my age tend to be more fit than the ones who aren’t as well off financially. We have tried to bring others our age into moderate exercise, with pickleball. It was unbelievable how some people my age couldn’t even begin to do that. I was really shocked because beginner level pickleball isn’t a crazy demanding sport, but people who dropped sports after high school seem to have lost a lot of the hand to eye coordination that fit people maintain.
Thanks Steve for your piece—thoughtful and provocative as usual. I think by focusing on sports activities (which is just an illustration of your point) some folks have missed your larger idea that rushing to retire at 30 or 35 because at 50 you won’t be able to enjoy not working isn’t necessarily a super-smart idea. I’m not (and never was) much of an athlete. And I could certainly lose the 20 lbs I’ve put on in the past 10 years, but that has nothing to do with either working or retirement.
The bigger question is what do you want your entire life to consist of? I don’t think there is a “one size fits all” answer to that question. For some people, living a very frugal life and quitting their jobs at 33 or 43 is the right goal. But I suspect that for many folks it might not be. I admire the frugal folks on this and other FIRE blogs, but it is simply not a life that I would have enjoyed. Missing out on the last 30 years of my “working” life would have deprived me of most of my best friends and much of the learning that still fuels me today. I walked away from my CEO gig at 55, comfortable, but not wealthy. I quit when the horses**t outweighed the fun and learning.
I’m just back from a 500 mile boat trip (on our little 31’ power boat) with my 80 yr old Dad. We spent 10 days riding around the Great Lakes and had an amazing time together. If I hadn’t worked and accumulated some assets, we couldn’t have done the trip—I wouldn’t have been able to afford either the boat or the gas to run it up and down the lake. My not-so-humble advice to the younger crew is simply to think carefully about what you want your life to look like. Our lives are both long and short, and what you think you want at 25 or 35 and what you will actually want at 50 or 55 may be very different…
You sound like you’ve lived a very similar life, Jack. I do not regret staying with my career for as long as I did, five years longer than you. Some of my life’s biggest victories and most enjoyable moments came because of my job. It was a great hobby until it wasn’t, and then I left it behind for something even better. You are right, it wasn’t supposed to be a sports post, it was a post about the future you still being able to live a rich life. I just used active hobbies as an example because that’s what young people typically think won’t be possible after they turn 50. I would not have the volunteer options I have now in positions that were given to me because of my business stature and political network and I like giving back in ways that let me utilize the skills I honed during decades of work. The boat trip sounds amazing. I miss my folks who have both passed, its precious time you got to spend. Certainly you don’t need to be crazy rich to retire but if you retire with no margin then you won’t have room to widen your scope much, and as Jane said usually we tend to find benefits in spending a little more as our tastes evolve. Thanks for commenting!
Haha!
I actually retired as an “ancient57.”
Life’s great!
Frogdancer, life is great isn’t it?
An interesting read, Steve, including all the comments.
I think one of the reasons that young people make these assumptions about age is that your life as a child and young adult tends to be dictated quite significantly by your age. E.g. you go to kindergarten and school at certain ages, you have to be this high to go on this ride at the amusement park, you can’t get your ears pierced until you’re 16, you’re older than your sibling so you should know better, etc etc. Even early adulthood has expectations around milestones like getting married and having kids. I found it wasn’t until my mid thirties that I stopped thinking about age as a marker for where I was at in my life. It’s not surprising really that young people view us middle aged and older folk through that same lens. I’m pretty sure I was doing the same at their age. I used to laugh at my dad for nodding off to sleep in front of the TV and now I find myself doing the same thing occasionally.
Now, at 54 and with one bad knee, I certainly wish I’d made some different choices around my eating and fitness habits, but I’m lucky that I move pretty easily despite my weight, probably due to gymnastics and netball as a kid.
FFO, I share the bad knee thing. I just put up with the pain and I know someday it will likely need replacing, but the longer I can wait the better the technology gets. I agree with your thoughts about how we have socially ingrained concepts about age and ability. Great comment!
The philosophy in the post is great and nice examples of living life with lots of options open.
I was surprised you let those stereotypes bother you. You know what it was like to be in your 20’s after all and with less life experience and exposure to less different people’s lives.
Use it or lose it, mentally and physically, as we age seems key! Bad and good habits get compounded over time and it seems you set good ones up early and have kept them up.
Shout out to all the running club, toastmasters and rotary club people I know aged 60-92 who are crushing life! I am doing my best to set up habits for the next 55 yrs of my life to live with options.
SLG, I don’t doubt you’ll get what you want because you are intentional about life. Today started with a four mile run at 5:30 AM. I have tennis singles next at 10AM and then at 6 this evening we have pickleball. I consider this a very good day!
You are an inspiration. As an almost-40 blogger who is definitely guilty of some getting-old stereotyping, I think it’s safe to say that most of us on the younger end DO want to have a life similar to yours. I’ve got a few similar role models, like my uncle who climbed Mt Kilimanjaro in his 60s. But like many other people have pointed out, we’re primarily surrounded by older folks who use their age as an excuse for everything. My mom insists that her toddler-age grandchild is “too heavy” for her to even pick up. So we have a fear of becoming like that.
But I also think it’s a healthy fear! It’s good to be aware of how easy it is to use age as an excuse to be lazy and to fight like mad to avoid that outcome. And that determination just sometimes comes out as stereotyping all older people, when what we really mean to do is say, “I don’t want to be like so many of the older people out there.”
And to be fair, the stereotyping happens in other contexts as well. People stereotype marriage, being parents, living in the suburbs, etc., and usually because they’ve experienced their own friends and family members change overnight from fun and adventurous to kind of boring.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that it does take a lot of work to keep at some of the hobbies and activities you love as you progress through life and have other responsibilities, setbacks, etc. Maybe some people know they don’t have it in them to be like you, so they need to get it all in while they’re young. The rest of us know we’ll still be getting after it no matter our age, but we also know it’s going to take a conscious effort and some determination.
All that to say, I hope to be like you and not like so many of the other older people in my life. I wish I knew more like you!
Mrs FCB I suspect you’ll be much better than me. I was never better than a middle of the pack runner, I’m decent at tennis but nothing like a 5.0 Financial Samurai, that’s god like tennis. Pickleball I’m a novice. We are pretty good hikers but won’t touch technical climbing like an expert like Dave at Accidental Fire. All I want to do is be the best I can be with middle of the road physical talent. And I get the stereotyping. We all put things in categories, we couldn’t handle the complexity of seeing every person as an individual, we only have so much brain power to go around. And yes, fear is a great motivator. It got me through engineering college because I feared a life of manual labor for low pay.
Things I can’t do at 65 I could do when younger:
1) pick up young women
There maybe more, but that’s the big one.
I totally disagree, assuming they will let me I can still pick up young women as long as they do not weigh more than about 120 lbs.
Love it. I find this *very* encouraging. Doubles baby!!
Hey paying for school, of course I left out how I’ll feel after a day like today when I will have run my four miles, then played tennis singles and then played pickleball, all in very hot humid conditions outside in the sunshine.
I don’t know about physical ability but Senator Feinstein is a public example of an older person with cognitive issues she didn’t have when she was younger, even as a senior citizen.
Will, one of my friends, who was about ten years older than me. Very fit, ran close to a hundred marathons and was still running them in his late sixties, developed dementia suddenly and passed away in less than a year. That’s one of those scary genetic silver bullets that might have our name on it or may not. Personally I hope I get run over by a truck on my morning run instead.
Those dumb kids! 🙂
“ Apparently they base that on the oldest and most decrepit people they’ve ever known. ”
Hilarious! But ugh, my lower back after I play two games of softball back to back.
Yeah Sam, I hear you. I can’t begin to tell you how gassed I’ll be by the end of today. I ran 4 miles before sunrise, I’m headed out to play tennis singles this morning with a perfectly matched opponent so it will be brutal. Outside in the searing hot Arkansas humidity of course. And then this afternoon we will play at least a couple of hours of pickleball, outside again. My 65 year old body will be competing with itself for which parts hurt the worst! And the worst is I can’t whine about it to my wife because she is twice as tough as I’ll ever be and never complains about anything hurting.