How Has This Virus Changed Your Life?

It is surreal how differently this current virus crisis impacts families.  Right now, when most of us do not know a single person who has been diagnosed with convid19, this is a financial and logistics threat, and not yet a personal health issue.

 For people with children it is a daycare crisis.  For people with jobs that have been converted to working from home it’s a very awkward “how do I do my job this way” time.  For people who have been sent home without a work from home option it’s a time of concern over whether their jobs will be reinstated later.  For those whose jobs have been eliminated it is a time of confusion over how to access government bridging benefits. For senior adults, especially those with underlying health issues, it is a time of fear of infection.  For kids it is a scary time when routines have been upended and Mom and Dad seem worried and distracted, and maybe not very adept at home schooling.

For FIRE (financial independence, retire early) aspirants who were nearing or just reaching their FI (financial independence) target of passive income or investments that appeared sufficient to fund their lives indefinitely  it can be a time of great dismay or depression.  For people well into their financial independence journey it is a frightening and disconcerting time watching their assets fall by double digits in a single day.   For people with an excess of wealth beyond their projected needs, even with a 70% stock market crash (not likely but who knows?), it is more of a matter of watching hundreds of thousands or millions of dollars in reduction of their net worth, knowing they’ll still have more than enough to maintain their lifestyle.

Later when there will be plenty of people you know and care about suffering from covid19, maybe even your family, this will become something much different and more frightening.  Obviously this is already the case for hundreds of thousands of people across the globe.  

Personally I’m one of the lucky few on the money side and one of the not so lucky on the other.  I exceeded my FI number years before I retired and when my corporate pay and stock options soared the last three years of my job I saved and invested most of the money.  I also received a large  inheritance a few years ago so my assets were padded greatly due to circumstances I had very little to do with.  I’ve lost some $750,000 in investments over the last six weeks but it is money I can afford to lose and also money I expect to get back some day.  I haven’t sold a thing and haven’t pulled any money out of investments for my living expenses. I know that isn’t most peoples’ experience and I do realize I’m blessed and should use my secure financial position to help others around me in need. 

My day to day life has not changed much.  I only work a day a week and that was largely remote work from my home.  I don’t need the money, its for my entertainment only, and if it does not survive the virus I will not consider it a great loss.  In fact it will be an opportunity to reinvent myself again.  My wife and my hobbies remain unchanged.  We do not have any kind of shelter in place rules here so there are no problems with our morning runs, our outdoor tennis games, hiking, off-roading or fishing.  We never get close to anybody on those adventures, I’d venture it is a safer environment than being indoors at home. As a side benefit we have stocked up the freezer with a whole lot of filets from all the fish we are catching. Not having any kids at home, with ours all grown and gone, means that the school situation is not impacting us. 

As lucky as I am on the financial side I’m in a very precarious position with my health.  First I’m a senior, I’ll turn 65 this year so that alone puts my risk in the elevated category. On the plus side  I’ve always been fairly athletic, I ran 15 marathons in my late forties through my late 50’s and still run fifteen miles a week.  I also am a fairly competitive tennis player, competing on teams and at tournaments, or I did before the virus cancelled them all.  And we are pretty extreme hikers and enjoy pickle ball.  But what may outweigh those positives is the fact that  I do have asthma, one of the high risk factors for covid19. More troubling still, I’ve also got a rare complication that restricts the amount of air I can hold in my lungs.  The combination of these two ended my marathon career and makes all my athletic pursuits more difficult than they would be for a normal person my age.  I still run and play hard because of my determination to not let physical problems or pain rule my life.  As long as I can go, I’m going to go hard even when it hurts. 

Covid19 kills maybe 1% of its victims, I think that number is still in flux since this is pretty new.  But most of what I’ve read shows it kills around 10% of people like me. Actually there are probably not many people like me, with my particular combination of issues, so I’d guess my own personal risk could be even higher. I’m fit and have made a science of obtaining reasonable athletic performance on a limited air supply so maybe that gives me an edge over sedentary types.  Since my health situation is complicated I just do not know what my chances are of surviving the virus if I get it. 

All this tells me we are each fighting different battles in this war against an invisible foe. Some people are running out of money and the pantry shelves are bare.  Some are quarantined in nursing homes with sick people just down the hall.  Some are fighting depression and loneliness in their isolation.  Others are treating the whole thing like a fun family camping adventure. This is one of the most individual existential crises we have faced in most of our lifetimes and our individual circumstances make this unique to each of us.  I’m not worried personally on either the financial or health fronts because I’m not a worrier.  I’ve always had high stress jobs but rarely felt the stress because I was generally able to look at my career as a game, and if it fell apart I could start another game.  As far as health goes, I’m in my sixties, with very active hobbies so like any other older athlete  I could die any time I go for a run or chase down a tennis ball.  Life has been great but nobody lives forever and at my age I realize that I have already lived most of my life, I just accept that fact.  I know that isn’t particularly profound but I’ve never been a deep thinker.  

What about you?  Are you more worried financially or health wise for yourself or your loved ones? 

If you had an office job but are working from home now, how is that going? 

What do you think your kids are feeling about this whole thing?  

Does Anyone Want to Win?

It has been interesting reading all the end of the year recaps and end of the decade recaps as bloggers have looked back on the past and have given their thoughts on their progress, improvements and  challenges. In addition to looking back most of them take a look forward and set some goals for the next year, the bravest set goals for the entire new decade. 

Since this is a financial space at its core there are always savings and spending goals.  Maybe a net worth goal as well.  And quite often, though it isn’t directly related to money, there are fitness goals listed.  And that’s what this post is about, sort of.  The more of those goals I read the more disturbed I became that there is something wrong with the way some bloggers are looking at their goals.

To frame this let me tell you where I’m coming from.  I’m a boomer and was never a natural athlete.  I’m not a fast sprinter and my vertical leap doesn’t even justify having the word leap associated with it.  But I’m a runner, consistently running 15-25 miles a week for the last thirty years.  I’ve played tennis for almost fifty years and I’m pretty good at it still.  Plus, I’ve added hiking and pickle ball to those core athletic pursuits over the years.  I’m still not a great athlete but most of my more sedentary boomer buddies think I’m some kind of animal because I’m still doing strenuous sports, while golf is the closest thing to exercise they do.  OK golfers (said with exactly the same tone as “OK boomer”) I’m sorry if I impugned your “game”, but I’m only talking about “sports”.   

The thing is, I never ran as a means to improve my fitness, I only did it to allow me to be more competitive at tennis. Competition was my primary driver and it still is. Whether it is a board game, a tennis team match or a work project my goal was to win.  In my decades of adult life I have learned one thing about myself.  And that is competition is the best motivator  for me to do something with excellence that I might not otherwise do at all. 

In many of the year end and New Year’s resolution blog posts when exercise was mentioned it was usually “walking the dog”, “going to the gym” or “yoga”.  Sometimes it was, couch to 5K.   And do not get me wrong, nothing wrong with those, but where is the competitive angle?   Where are competitive sports like tennis, volleyball, martial arts, basketball, soccer, etc.?  You know things where someone wins and someone loses?  I’ve yet to see a yoga duel, or a treadmill race.  And the reason that troubles me is that people will normally not do something consistently if there isn’t a big strong WHY involved, and “going to the gym” doesn’t have a why attached, or at least not one strong enough for me. 

It’s a cliché, but it is a true one, that New Year’s resolutions don’t work.  And it is generally recognized that the reason is a lack of real commitment to the goal.  Again, where there is no real WHY in the resolution, there is no strong connection to your identity that strikes passion in you.  And it is easy to see why getting up at 6 AM to go jog on a treadmill for no reason except general fitness is going to require an iron will most of us lack. 

I am lazy.  So incredibly lazy. Yet, I have run tens of thousands of miles over the last few decades in the early morning darkness while not getting any particular thrill out of running.  You might wonder how  that works?  It is simple, I don’t like running but I need to be fit.  And I don’t care about being fit because it is a thing in itself, I like being fit because it makes me a faster and stronger tennis player.  And I care about my tennis skills because I win more when I’m fit.  I have much more passion for winning at tennis than I have for staying under the covers when the alarm goes off at 4:40 AM, like it did this morning.  Basically I have rewired my brain so that it doesn’t see a choice of running or sleeping in , it sees a choice between something I love, winning, and something I hate, losing. And the passion to win simply destroys the desire to sleep in.

And that is what troubles me about many of the goals I’ve seen posted lately.  I don’t see any tie to winning or to anything that is a burning passion. Not just regarding exercise either.  It is just as bad in some of the career goals people are posting.   The day I walked into my first job I already had decided what winning at work looked like for me.  Winning was to be running that company by the time I was 40.  I didn’t care about work life balance, benefits or anything else except being the best, and winning that job.  There was even a specific day I remember when the president of our parent company sat me and my rival frenemy down together in an office and laid out the rules of the game for us.   We would be judged against each other over the next year and the “winner” would run the company and the “loser” would go to the corporate headquarters and be a staffer for the parent company.  And I absolutely loved the concept.  I was working for someone just like me.  And, yes, when the year was up I won.  I was 41, so I missed my goal by a year, but it was close enough. 

I am sure if I had not been able to gamify work, to see it as a competition , I would not have had so much fun, nor done so well.  In spite of having a particularly keen engineering brain, my lack of grit would have kept me from advancing if I had not spurred myself to work hard by leveraging my passion to win.  Thankfully I figured that out about myself early and it has served me well.  But I am not finding so many younger versions of me in this blogging space.  It seems that treading water in their careers, and staying employed are the goals now.  I am beginning to finally understand people seeing work as a hamster wheel because that is truly uninspiring if that is the career plan.  Where is the hunger to win that can make work fun? 

Maybe I come across as some kind of unbalanced freak?  Maybe I am.   But I loved my career because I won at it. I got promoted and paid more with great frequency which felt exactly like winning. Dave Ramsey talks about “killing something and dragging it home” when he talks about high performing individuals.  That’s what my career felt like to me, but I get very little of that vibe from many of today’s younger bloggers.  Work is more of a necessary evil, a means to the end of early retirement.  And I think that’s maybe why their careers don’t progress as fast as mine did, and why they do not like their jobs.   Maybe in some cases it is the same thing regarding their fitness commitment.  Maybe they don’t work out like I did because they haven’t tied their fitness goals to a strong enough why?  My why was competition, and that might not be a very worthy one for others.   But there has to be something that strikes a passion in you to achieve a goal that requires hard work. Otherwise you just see the morning gym crowd thinning out by February and March year after year.

Does anyone care about winning any more? 

Are there better career and fitness goals than winning, how do they work to motivate you?

Is this a generational change, are Gen X and millennials less competition driven, is that good or bad?

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