Being bored out of your mind! Does that thought scare you? Many of you are pursuing an early retirement. Others don’t plan to retire early but are focused on having enough of a nest egg saved up to allow an enjoyable conventional retirement in your sixties. Either way, you do foresee a time when you will not spend 40 plus hours a week at a job. A day when you’ll have more time to live life on your own terms.
And that can be a problem, living life with more time and less constraints. It seems counterintuitive doesn’t it? You’ll have more freedom to do what you want but even now when you think about it I’m willing to bet there is at least a grain of doubt in the back of your mind. Because, how is that going to go? We’ve all been bored, and we do not like that feeling. And if we get bored in the midst of a busy working life how can we escape mega-boredom in a life that has an extra 40 hours, or more, added to it?
I have some thoughts because retirement is not a hypothetical concept to me. I retired, slightly early, four years ago which coincidentally is about the same time as my two brothers-in-law. As far as I can tell we have all three managed the amount of boredom in our lives successfully and are very much enjoying the way we spend our time.
We are all brothers-in-law because we married three sisters and we get together from time to time and talk about our retired lives. Starting with the oldest sister’s spouse, he is the strangest case. I remember when I told him I was contemplating retirement his one word of advice was, “Don’t!” That was at a time in his life where he was struggling with boredom after a high powered career. I rose pretty high in the ranks at a Fortune 500 corporation but I was a minnow compared the big fish he was. He ran the biggest part of one of the largest corporations in the world, one every one of you knows by name. Where I had some 700 employees on my team he had as many as 40,000 reporting through him.
He lived on corporate jets, the transcontinental type and not the short hoppers I occasionally flew on. His compensation was up in the seven figure zone instead of my six figures. He was doing trade deals with foreign governments while I was just trying to meet production targets. So in other words he was legitimately a big deal. I’ve said before you don’t see star NFL quarterbacks retiring when they are still at the top of their game but a change in ownership of his company retired him when he was still an All-Pro executive. And he hated it, at first. He wasn’t used to having free time, he literally worked all of his waking hours and it was his only real hobby. And he was not atypical, that is how almost every C-suite executive I’ve ever met lives. You almost cannot reach that level with anything less than a single minded devotion to your career. It is one reason I never tried to get that high in business, because I did not want work to be my life.
So here he was, not happy because he was not the shot caller any more. But being a problem solver he created some hobbies, which in his case meant buying himself a job. He found a run down facility that produced the same kind of widgets his former employer did in a niche they did not care about and set about modernizing it. And you could see him reanimate into the high energy and happy guy he had always been. He was no longer a big fish in the big pond but he found being the big fish in a small pond delivered the same endorphin rush with much less stress. It wouldn’t work for me, but it was a valid answer to the boredom problem for him.
Brother-in-law number two married the middle sister and worked as an inspector in a field that paid middle class wages. He enjoyed his job because he was very good at it but never aspired to get into upper management, or even middle management. He loved to be the technical expert and to spend a good part of his day outside talking to people and inspecting things. He also enjoyed golf, fishing and hunting and his workdays were generally only eight hour ones except for the occasional crisis time. He looked forward to retirement and never seemed to miss a beat when it arrived. He is an excellent carpenter and devoted himself to making things for his family and friends and helping keep his church in good repair after he left his 9 to 5. He also has some grandkids he adores and they occupy much of his time. He is a happy guy and always fun to be around. He has less money than the other two of us but he has more than enough and boredom is not a problem in his life.
And then there is me. I had a great career doing a job that involved both technology and management. I resembled brother-in-law number one in that for most of my career, work was my favorite hobby too. However there were some major differences between us. Unlike him I never worked more than 45 hours a week unless there was some kind of emergency. And because I did not have extreme work hours I had a richer life apart from my job. I had more time to have a great marriage and good relationship with my three kids. In addition I had many hobbies that included distance running, tennis, fishing, hunting, skiing, travel, volunteering and hiking. I also reached a point in my career pretty quickly where I could see that I did not want to promote up further into the corporate ranks. My bosses did not seem nearly as happy as I was and I felt like it was because they were under a relentless pressure to achieve. I’m all for achieving but they were being given unrealistic and unattainable goals and were being blamed for circumstances that were far out of their control. And when that trickled downhill to me I stopped having fun and retired.
But because work wasn’t my only hobby and because I had spent years planning, the transition to retirement was kind of a nonevent in my life. I knew I loved some aspects of work so I stepped seamlessly into some consulting fields that I enjoyed and that had very little of the negative aspects of traditional work. I also kept my volunteer positions. The consulting and volunteer work kept most of my old networks alive so I stayed socially engaged. And because I only spend 8 to 16 hours a week consulting, sometimes even less, I have more time for all my hobbies including new ones like pickle ball and blogging. And I’m happier now than when I was a 9 to 5 guy, just as happy as when my old career was at its very best. Boredom just hasn’t become a thing in my life.
Looking at the three bro-in-laws, we’ve adopted three different strategies to enjoying retirement. One recreated his old world on a much smaller scale but one that allows him to enjoy being his creative best. Work is still his only hobby, but he has found a way to work less and still be the man in charge. And it is one that he can continue until he dies. He wouldn’t have it any other way.
Number two just quit working for money, he already had enough hobbies and family opportunities lined up that he filled the newfound hours easily. He did not have a plan for retirement but was flexible enough to fill the time with things he enjoys without facing boredom at all. Because he was never one dimensional he has adapted without any issues.
And then there is me, the one who married the baby sister. Like the engineer I am, I defined the problems I might face years ahead of my retirement and already had consulting jobs lined up that would engage me in case I found myself facing boredom. I also spent a lifetime developing many hobbies I could pursue, most of which I could do with my family. So far retirement has been even better than I hoped.
I encourage each of you to take a look at yourself and start preparing now for the day you quit full time work. If you have to work to be happy then figure out how to create the ideal job for you that you can control into old age. If you have plenty of things you love to do but just don’t have the time now because of that pesky job of yours then you may not need any plan. Or if you feel like you will always need a balance between a little bit of paid work, some volunteering and pursuing your many hobbies then plan for that life now. Make time to explore and develop lifetime hobbies, figure out how to monetize something you love doing and find some ways to give back to others.
What about you? What will it take to keep you happy in retirement and to keep boredom at bay?
Do you know family or friends that have retired from full time work and are killing their retirements? How are they doing it?
Do you know someone for whom retirement has become a curse instead of a win? Someone who wishes they had never retired?
i enjoy investing and plan to do that until i lose my faculties. i could see helping people with that and maybe getting some certifications if necessary to dispense financial advice. our lives are presently so easy with 1.5 jobs in the household that we’re staying this course unless something changes.
on the flip side a friend of mine (i think he’s about 61) is the owner of a very successful law firm and can’t seem to retire. i think he likes being needed and being there to support the firm he built. it works for him i guess.
I have a friend who owns his own trucking company and I think he might retire except he has no kids interested in taking it over from him like he did with his dad who started the company. You’d be awesome at financial advice Freddy, well, you already are but I have no doubt you could get paid for that if you chose to. I pondered that myself but decided staying in my very narrow niche of consulting is really a better use of my existing networks and skills.
Thanks for sharing the 3 different perspectives on retirement.
If I were to semi-retire in the foreseeable future, I’d split my time between writing, managing Airbnb units, traveling, and sharpening my photography skills.
That sounds like a good plan, a little work, a little personal growth and some fun!
Since you have retired, have you heard anybody so bored where they say “I miss my cubicle”?
Looking to leave in four years when I hit 54. Work is good, but not necessary to define me. Plenty of things to do at my own pace when I leave. Gym, hobbies, home projects, etc. I might even work part time in another area.
No, I haven’t. My big shot bro in law did miss his job but it was his life and I know a couple of other guys who tried and failed to get consulting gigs like mine set up but so far have failed. It is hard to get paid for consulting as an engineer unless you’ve developed a niche skill set and most upper management guys like me leave the tech stuff behind as they advance. I went to a lot of trouble to have a consulting path if I decided I wanted to do that, which I have so far in retirement. You are probably a self starter like my other bro in law. He has zero problem staying happy with plenty to do and he hasn’t worked a day since he retired in any kind of paying job. I kind of need a kick in the seat of the pants to be active so I had to set up something that forces me to meet a few deadlines and be places at specific times. It is my way of not vegging out all the time, but some people are naturally active, I kind of wish I was like that.
I’ve yet to meet an unhappy retiree, perhaps b/c I’ve yet to meet a mentally sedentary retiree. Sure, our parents complain about having worked until their bodies aren’t able to do the things they love anymore, but mentally they’re all still pretty sharp. One retired as a lawyer and is now a farmer. I’ve met plenty of women who retired from one field (say engineering) once they had enough financial security and started doing something else mentally stimulating (say teaching dance). We’re retiring early in 2020 and both still have plans to keep our brains active, potentially bringing in extra dollars separate from the fields we’re educated and trained professionally in.
I wonder if you and I both mostly know happy retired people because they are the majority of those retired or if there is some selection bias at work? I mean we meet people who are active in the community and they might not be a representative sample just because they are driven to stay active? Maybe the unhappy ones are in recliners drinking beer for breakfast? I do think bodies do not have to wear out at retirement. My wife and I have plenty of aches and pains In our sixties but we still can beat any of the high school tennis team players and sometimes a college player and my wife can outrun most women of any age at anything 5K or longer. But only because we started running and exercising thirty years ago. Thanks for commenting and for your excellent blog!
So much attention is brought to the numbers of retirement (and early retirement), that it is nice to read something that focuses on the time.
As someone who wants to retire early I am working to retire to something as oppposed to just wanting to get out of my job. There are so many things I want to do taht I don’t think I will ever be bored (unless I choose to be).
Great attitude! I predict success for you. And in fact I do chose to be bored and waste a day completely sometimes. It feels ridiculously indulgent to not accomplish anything for a whole day. No consulting, no housework, no blogging, just reading, or watching a movie. But it also feels good to know I have the freedom to do and the freedom to not do.
Thanks for sharing, you sound like you are in the middle and you have a good assessment of personalities your brother in laws have. Wow, 7 figures, I can’t imagine.
I don’t think I’ll get bored. I have a feeling people who are very extroverted get bored in retirement but introverts rejoice in the quiet time.
That’s a fascinating insight. I am an introvert by nature but earned a living by being a very public person. And while I still force myself into the spotlight fairly often, spoke before several hundred people last night, I also am just fine sitting alone at home for hours at a time.
I think remaining active and busy is key to living a happier life.
Even when working a corporate job in which I make a fairly good salary, I hate having an extended period of down time. It becomes a very boring environment and I get uneasy.
While I am still a couple of decades away from the normal retirement age, I can’t see myself just kicking back and not be actively engaged in different activities.
I like the path you have taken and what your brother-in-law finally settled on. Continue to spend some time doing things that are exciting and challenging.
It is working so far! The hardest part may be knowing yourself well enough to know in advance what you’ll need to be fulfilled. I am not sure I had that much self knowledge, I kind of guessed at my retired life and got lucky I think. But at least I had a plan. And the good thing is you’ve always got the rest of your life. You absolutely do not have to hit it perfectly on your first try.